Ohkay, there was a bit of a lull as things looked like they were getting serious and I didn’t want to be the one to be labelled silly or frivolous. But it was also getting dull and frivolous is fun so I’m back because there is stuff to report and people are wondering if OCD is still alive and kicking. Cleaning I mean.
Yes, he is! And cleaning has gone to a new level. I mean how much can you clean something that is already clean? Those of you who are OCD will know what I mean. This time if was the big shelves with very small artifacts. Now this gives a whole new meaning to cleaning. I immediately called in sick from my home work place faking a few sneezes and coughs which was enough to absolve me from this onerous task.
From my hiding place, I observed that every small artifact (and there are dozens collected over decades from various countries) was carefully taken out, washed and dusted. This of course gave me the perfect excuse to stay away from the kitchen as well. This cleaning process took the whole day, done to the loud sound of old Indian songs (not him God forbid – can’t carry a tune, but on Google music play).
At the end of all this, OCD was quite exhausted so it was the perfect time to challenge him to a game of Scrabble. Now all OCD supporters can come out in force for the rescue because OCD came to the game saying “get ready to lose bigtime” and “I’m a scrabble champion”. Well, well, well. Guess who lost three times in a row? First time he said it was because he was tired. Second time he said he was not concentrating because the floor looked messy. Third time he came to the game full of bounce – until he lost. All this while holding a Q, U, Z and a J! Hai hai – such pouting and resistance. So now I am a cheater, cheater, curry eater. He checked and rechecked the score (which I was keeping) on the calculator. All the time I had to check his ridiculous words on scrabble check and promise I did not cheat.
Since then he has tried to get his revenge by asking me to do mundane, inane stuff like untie the ties of the dining table chairs, and re-tie them. Hello? Are you listening to the madness here? I have learnt that the most used word in these times of Corona is NO. You can always evilly add “and which part of NO do you not understand?’ So, NO is my mantra and savior.
This is how it goes from the morning.
OCD – “lets clean the store today” ME: No
OCD: “It’s raining outside so let’s put on music and clean the kitchen shelves’ ME: No
OCD: “Good morning. Which part of the house do you want to clean?” ME: None
And No – I have no sympathy with OCD’s. I swear I sometimes have the urge to strew bits of paper and clutter around the house. Just like I see him resisting the urge to spray me with Lysol. It would be the ultimate partnership revenge.